When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Sober January is a disaster.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
