For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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