Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
