Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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