There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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