She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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