i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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