At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
