By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
