D3 body, D1 cock
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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