there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
