I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
