apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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