I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
