If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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