My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize