Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
