I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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