This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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