Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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