oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
