Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
