that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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