dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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