Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
