I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
