im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize