Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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