i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
