I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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