She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
