One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
