the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
