Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
