She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
