good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
