so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
