no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
