So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
