Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
