Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
