She said her name was "party"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
