Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
