I don't usually arrange sex via text message
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My pussy is not your playground.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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