He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
