my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
