he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
