in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
