I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
