I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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