he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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