Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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