Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
