apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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