Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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