it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am midnight drunk by noon
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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