To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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