Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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