Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I love you. Go after that dick
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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