Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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