Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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