my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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