This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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