I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
