We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
