So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
